I love you more than you'll ever know

i feel like alot of stuff has been screwed up. i've been pretty moody after the prize giving thing. today melissa looked at my report book and she went kayi whats wrong with you you de-proved so much. and thats got me thinking so much about everything, like i know i've been doing badly this year but it sounds so much more serious coming from a friend. but i really appreciated the honesty there because all along all that i've gotten from friends were the usual comforting and stuff like dont worry just do better next year.
so anyway yeah i just feel pretty screwed up and i dont know if msheng is gonna allow like everyone who writes a letter to continue higherchinese. i'm gonna be really miserable if she doesnt allow me to continue but i guess i can understand cus i havent passed a single test this year. but still. i really really want to continue taking the damn subject cus i want a shot at passing so i dont have to take it at jc. plus it feels pretty wasted, if i just drop it this year, i've taken the subject for like 6/7 years. and it sucks that i havent realised how badly i wanted all these until it had to come to this. but if im allowed to continue taking it then comes the question of whether i am really better off taking it. i have to pass next year, it's a must and for me its just a very hard thing. i'm gonna take up chinese tuition.

so anyway okay. i havent been giving out my annual postcards at the end of the school term. but this year it hasnt even felt like its sad leaving the school. last year everyone cried. i guess everyone's just happy to take a break. i'm happy about the holidays but then they'll have to end at some point and thats what im not happy about. next year's gonna be hell i know and if my results next year are anything like this year's then im gonna die.
right. so anyway it was really glad knowing all you guys. some friendships were lost but i've made other great ones. ann raina jack beverly shiuan claire melissa kat charissa. thanks you guys. and to those i've known last year or lastlastyear, huiting aileen jasmine charlene everyone else. well i dunno what to say but i'll give you a smiley face okay :) haha. i'm sorry for all the friendships lost, what can i say, i didnt want this either.

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

run, by snow patrol. its damn fricking nice go listen to it. kay i gotta go back to my chinese. love you guys, bye